No, this isn't the Sean Connery and Uma Thurman movie...

You guys are probably gonna be pissed at me for saying this but you CAN judge this movie by it's cover. I say that because the fighting and action scenes of this film is where this movie counts. When Hulk smashes, Iron Man shoots, Thor smashes, Captain America throws, Hawkeye rips off Robin Hood and Legolas, they just look cool. As for the story goes, it's pretty much bullshit filler. The film begins with SHIELD (Introduced in the Iron Man movie) using the scientist guy from Thor to study the power cube thing from Captain America. Loki comes in, starts using the device to turn people into his minion slaves and destroys the base. Good job SHIELD. So they get Iron Man and Captain America (Though they call him Cap and Cap'n, WHAT THE HELL?! ARMY DOESN'T DO THAT!) to fight Loki and capture him. But wait, they're on a plane and Thor shows up to capture his alien brother from a different mother/father himself... So that means the good guys are fighting now while the bad guy does nothing... NOTHING!!!

"I'm an alien that knows English and is somehow a Viking god from centuries ago, but a good guy. Still gotta drop the hammer time on you suckers..."
-Thor
"Huh... That makes no sense but I'm game. Are you game, pajama man?"
-Iron Man
"Fighting is bad! What're we doing?!"
-Captain America

They work out their differences and meet up on a flyiing aircraft carrier which Bruce Banner/Hulk (Not played by Eric Bana or Ed Norton but Mark Ruffalo, making him the 3rd Hulk actor in 10 years... Quit rebooting your own shit!)even points out "bad idea." So they throw around what pass as witty banter in a High School study hall when surprise surprise, Loki has his minions show up to wreak havoc, piss Banner off into Hulk and the flying aircraft carrier falls to Earth... Making that piece of military tech completely stupid and pointless in this movie. But no, the Avengers semi-work together to save the SHIELD piece of crap and Loki still escapes with his cubed sceptre that he'll use to open a portal into space and unleash the armies of this Thanos guy... Who's not even really in the movie, or sequel... They got more into the character in Guardians of the Galaxy but c'mon, don't introduce a character in important plot/scenes and be like, "eh, read our comics." If I wanted to read hours of comics I wouldn't waste my time watching this! Anyways, portal gets opened and the middle aged jackasses with high school issues have to work together and fight off the invading aliens. Oh, and despite destroying the majority of Manhattan they decide to keep Loki alive and send him off with Thor to stand trial. Seriously, hang that douchebag or send him to the guillotine or something! You know he's just gonna escape and do bad shit seeing as though this is the 2nd movie he's in!

"I have an army!"
-Loki
"We got a Hulk!"
-Iron Man
"Well... Yes, but something you should know, we're under contract from Marvel and SHIELD that we can't kill bad guys and need to give them ample time to escape as we talk or complain."
-Bruce Banner

So... Summary of what I think? Actually it's pretty entertaining. The action's really good and the relationship between the actors and their characters is top notch. I will say I hate the Black Widow character as she apparently is a notorious liar with identity issues and wants to make up for bad things of her past that isn't really talked about in this film or it's sequel, or even when she was introduced in Iron Man 2, it's like they said, "eh, she's there to be hot, we don't need to talk about character." Although sadly I'm more drawn to Cobie Smulder's character as I think she's hotter and her character is little more straight forward: She's just an agent of SHIELD. Speaking of which, a character I despise finally gets what's coming to him... Remember me talking about the Twerpy agent in Thor and Iron Man? Yeah, he bites off more than he can chew in this movie and that makes me happy. So anyways, Mad Wolf rating on Avengers? 3 out of 5 middle aged heroes with teeny bobber issues. The action's good but the movie drags on trying to sound scientific when it's just talk or bitching. Too much pointless stuff like the flying aircraft carrier that served no good at all, just wasting money with effects, not enough character development for the new guys introduced in the film and even Captain America's new outfit looks too much like pajamas (Get that battle armor back from the Captain America movie! It looked WAY more badass!), even the plot is "watch the last few Marvel films, we'll explain/reveal more later... If we feel like it." But DAAAAAMMMN... The film has some amazing fight scenes, even the ones that're terribly over the top like Hawkeye not even aiming his bow to shoot Loki and somehow is SO good his aim is true but Loki catches the arrow. That's not archery skill, that's a magic Loki seeking arrow! But I can't say it's 100% awesome with all it's flaws and fact it's not the first superhero movie to feature a lot of superoes: X-Men series, Batman & Robin, Fantastic Four series, Green Lantern, even SHIELD was a TV show over a decade ago with David Hasselhoff so it's not that new of a concept either... But it works here where some others haven't. But to leave you, I give you this shot of Cobie Smulders as the awesome but underplayed agent in Avengers...

I'd like to see her in her own movie. Not with Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, She-Hulk, WHATEVER... Just an Agent Maria Hill movie kicking butt, maybe working her way to be in SHIELD on a field mission or something. I think she'd be pretty badass.