Oh no... This is the movie that killed Batman... Bane really should take notes from this...

Pretty much everyone knows this moviwe is aweful but I'm gonna get into the goods and the bads.The good: Arnold The Terminator Scwarzenegger and Chris O'Donnell returns as Robin. I say these are good as Arnold portrays a pretty tough villain despite acting cheesy (due to Schumacher trying to emulate the old Adam West TV show) and O'Donnell playing an unappreciated sidekick that really wants to branch out and do his own thing (Dick Grayson/Robin #1 actually does that, it's called the Nightwing comics). The bad: George Clooney playing a more light hearted and non-brooding Batman, Uma Thurman playing the ultra evil hippy skank, Poison Ivy, and plays the character in a non-sexy and non-seductive way but acts over the top (like the Adam West villains), and Alicia Silverstone playing Alfred's niece and despite being the niece of a British guy and spending her life in England, she doesn't act the least bit British! Let's get on with this piece of crap...

"Det vill be... Iccccccce..."
-Mr. Freeze

Movie begins with Batman and Robin stopping some kinda thing The Freezernator is trying to do involving diamonds and saving his wife stuck in a cryotube, but the dynamic duo let him escape after playing hockey with his minions and Robins gets turned into a birdsicle... No, I didn't make this shit up. We then see Uma Thurman doing botanist things and witnesses a mad scientist making Bane in the next room and deciding she must die. But that doesn't happen, she turns into the mess of ultra ugly that is Poison Ivy...

"What're you talking about? I'm a hottie!"
-Poison Ivy

"What's goin' on with your face and hair?! I mean, I made fun of Thing for not having ears but daaaaaaamn... You got Star Trek goin' on outta your skull! Wait, I did hear about Kirk having sex with a green chick..."
-Captain Johnny America Torch

So we get Poison Ivy and Mr. Freeze teaming up because she's in love with him or something dumb and she puts her botanical toxin crap on Batman and Robin to pit them against each other... Which was kinda already going on before she showed up. Then Alfred's preppy American niece shows up from England and winds up getting in a motorcycle race with Dick Grayson/Robin and a biker gang, she winds up turning into Batgirl because you know, the men just can't stop a villain with those booby things... And cat ears crafted from hair...

"Holy unperky boobies, Batman! She has hair turned into cat ears and lady lumps!"
-Robin
"It's the car, Boy Wonder, chicks dig the car! I knew we should've taken the taxi this evening..."
-Batman

So Poison Ivy tries killing Freeze's wife in a cryotube and the Batblonde forces Ivy down the mouth of one of her own plants... Which doesn't kill her, just knocks her out... Weird... Then they change their outfits to black and silver to fight Mr. Freeze after he froze all of Gotham City. So they all stop Mr. Freeze, unfreeze Gotham, and tell the Freezernator that Ivy is an attempted murderer of the helplessly handicapped and that Alfred has the same illness as Freeze's wife but not as severe... So Freeze agrees to help them and get his revenge on ugly-ass Ivy. So Alfred lives, Batgirl is added to the bunch and they live happily ever after fighting crime.

And that is Batman & Robin even though it's Batman, Robin, and Batgirl...  And it's an abomination that Joel Schumacher himself apologized for making and George Clooney has made clear he would never again play the role of Batman. With this knowledge, I can't help but say it gets 1 out of 5 Batnipples, which Batgirl doesn't even have that so what the Hell?!?! Now yeah, this movie does appeal to some people so if you like comic book movies or wanna see the history of Batman films or something, check it out... Just don't go expecting a masterpiece or intelligent bat sleuthing or nothing.