I think my inner child just died...

This is basically a reboot of the series where they pretty much sum up the plots and settings from The Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgment Day but then the writers/dircetor change stuff and even break the laws of the Terminator universe and almost every other sci-fi time travelling story. Like what you might ask? Well, I'm gonna get into that with a shitload of spoilers so if you don't want that, go away NOOOOW!

The movie begins with a future scene of Kyle Reese getting attacked by a non-Schwarzenegger Terminator being saved by John Connor and getting recruited into his army of machine smashers. Kyle gets sent back in time to 1984 to save Sarah Connor but unlike last time, she has her own T-800 Arnoldinator to smash the '84 Arnoldinator with a bad haircut and Kyle gets attacked by an asian T-1000... Because SkyNet apparently merged with North Korea's military sometime between 1991 (Terminator 2) and 2015. After the not so romantic couple (that is the white haired girl from Game of Thrones with a pet dragon and a short but sexy bod and the douchebag guy from Divergent and Jack Reacher) destroy stylish asian T-1000 with acid (Which actually is pretty cool) they decide to go to travel to the newly created future (Despite Arnold explaining there's an infinite number of alternate timelines and possible futures and needing specific coordinates to know specifically where and when to be).

"Ya, no vun teks me zeriosly enymur."
-Arnold The Governator

To make things even more confusing, Kyle Reese is a 10 year old boy in this timeline that there's now 2 KYLE REESES EXISTING IN. Every sci-fi thing I've seen and read explains no body or thing can exist in 2 places at time, it'd break the laws of physics. Oh, but it gets better when John Connor comes from the future to meet his mommy and daddy that haven't conceived of this new villain... That's right, I typed John Connor, savior of the human race in 2029 in the post apocalypstic war against the machines is a villain obsessed with killing his parents before they can even... You know...

"First Pac-Man, now John Connor's a bad guy? Has Hell recently froze over or something?"
-Adam Sandler

So the not so lovingly romantic couple decide to go to Cyberdyne where John Connor apparently works to create SkyNet (You know... His OWN arch nemesis which is sentient being that took on the form of the twerpiest and most childish Doctor Who of them all) and blow the building sky high. But things go south, Arnold and John Connor fight it out and get ripped to shit in the time machine Connor built and Arnie gets thrown into a pool of liquid metal and instantly gets an upgrade to be non asian and non Robert Patrick T-1000. Do they live happily ever after? No! Kyle Reese and Sarah decide to meet up with child Kyle Reese to talk some moral lesson in his head before driving off to prepare for whatever other crazy bullshit Doctor SkyNet Who sends their way... Keep in mind they haven't screwed yet by the year 2017 in this film so the main villain STILL HASN'T BEEN CONCEIVED IN HIS MOTHER'S WOMB!!! ... How is it the universe hasn't exploded yet?

"Well you see, I broke the timey wimey thing in the TARDIS when I abducted the kids from South Park to join me for some custard covered fish fingers and those little brats made me realize people suck so I sent myself to 2029 with a broken timey wimey and uploaded myself into SkyNet's mainframe."
-The Doctor

There's some great action sequences but it's PG-13 so these Terminators feel really kiddied down with the fact they don't kill a whole lot people save for the soldiers dying very quickly and non graphically during the future scene in the beginning of the movie. But ultimately this one is simply not that good. Sure it'sbetter than T3 which tried to do the exact same thing as T2 including the same pattern of plot development and chase scenes but have a different ending and more humor with a FemTerminator, but this one really isn't much better. It's enjoyable but the storyline broke the laws of time and space so much I think I need half a bottle of aspiron to fight the apocalypse going on in my head. Yeah, when it comes to badass action I'll stick to a Sega Genesis, Terminator: Genisys gets 2 out of 5 half brained world domination plots from an artificial intelligence. Wait wait wait, I just realized that if SkyNet was successful and John Connor killed Kyle and Sarah, not only would he kill himself from all existance but SkyNet too as he went back in time to create SkyNet... What... The Hell, movie?