Crap, Raiden's in this one... Well, at least he's not the main character...

Where to begin? Raiden as a ninja with high heels? Or how about the so-called Geckos which are the heads of Metal Gear Rex on some biotic legs and moo like cows? Or how about how Snake is aging rapidlty? How about the new "psyche" meter which drains down and short of not fighting (Which is very difficult to do in this game) there's not much you can do short of sitting in shaded areas? The really annoying and pointless commercials that they put at the beginning of the game and make you watch? No, I think I'll begin by saying the majority of this game is spent on linear roads that take you to your destination. Although there's mulitple paths to take, it really doesn't feel nearly as big or as open as the previous Metal Gear Solid games. What is new is an arms dealer named Drebin that removes ID locks on guns you pick up from defeated enemies. He's weird and mysterious but awesome... Not unlike this guy from another game that's #4 in the series...

"Got some good things on sale, Ssssnake!"
-The Merchant

"What the Hell, bro?! Snake's my customer!"
-Drebin

Storyline? I dunno, it feels like the writer threw up his arms and asked "Who cares?! Oh wait! I have to continue that crap from the game with the blonde kid... Damn." Though I give him props for resolving the questions we had at the end of Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty... Still did it in a douche manner... Otacon loses ANOTHER girl close to him (Seriously Hideo, how many times do we need to shit on this guy and his family?), the new bosses are these mercenary chicks with technology that portray their animal codenames but after dfeating them you have to kill them or their beauty sde which grab and kill you... Killing them makes their suits turn to stone for some reason I never understood and after which you get a call from, Drebin detailing their tragic stories why they became machines of war, Vamp finally gets to die (Never liked him), Snake actually pilots the damaged Metal Gear Rex to fight Metal Gear Ray at Shadow Moses island (Place in first game), Liquid Ocelet controls technology now and can shut down people's will to fight at will (Which involves him pointing a finger and saying "Bang"... ),Hideo doesn't really reveal what's up with Liquid's "Frogs" (Special forces women that burn in blue fire when they die), , Meryl falls in love and gets married (Not with Snaaaaaaaaaaaake), all this leading up to a pretty epic fight between Old Snake and Liquid Ocelet... Yeah, it's a load of tragic weirdness but at least it's more conclusive and understandable than MGS2. Also, when you continue a story like MGS2, well of course it's gonna be rediculous and seem more than a little impossible as they were trying to put the story to bed and had to be more over the top than MGS2.

"This is what I get for being senile and forgetting to wear my cardboard box... Wait... What was I just talking about? Prune juice? Matlock?"
-Old Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake

So I guess they actually tried to make something concrete and feasible this time around, and the gameplay isn't bad... But this one feels more like Hideo Kojima just trying to give Q&A to the series and trying to wrap up Metal Gear Solid instead of making it something awesome. I dunno, something about that original of infiltrating the base, take out hundreds of soliders, no real help from anyone else, and going toe-to-toe with an ulitmate doomsday weapon, nothing can beat that. This game is good but it lacks that real epic feeling. I give Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots 3 out of 5 average mooing Geckos... That sentence just doesn't make sennse no matter how much I think of it...