Well... I thank God it isn't Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3!

So the movie begins with this flying submarine with a drill on it tracking down Godzilla and imprisoning our favorite overgrown lizard under a mountain of ice at the south pole... Then we see some crazy crap about these mutant people that fight like a mix between Matrix and Mortal Kombat and how these guys are trained to tackle monsters that overshadow skyscrapers... To make it even better, the flying submarine ship thing's katana wielding captain seems like he's either a seriously badass Super Mario or he's emulating Joseph Stalin...

"The monsters are attacking in numbers! Who will lead us through our most devastating battle?!"
-Someone from Final Fantasy VII's SOLDIER program

"Da! I shall lead!" -Super Mario Stalin

All the people in the movie dress in shiny clothes too and try to look really awesome or sexy, like they shoot guns while holding them sideways and there's pleny of "Oh, look at my long legs" camera angles with the actresses wearing their skirts. Even the science, you'd expect a Godzilla movie to have lots of science stuff in it... No! This one is like a Gozilla movie directed by Michael Bay and John Woo: Lots of action, people shooting stuff, there's a motorcycle fight scene which totally reminded me of Mission: Impossible II... Even the chick that's supposed to be a biologist spends most of her time shooting at aliens! And who are these aliens they're facing? Well do you remember those robot acting guys from Godzilla vs. Monster Zero?

"We are aliens from Planet X. We come in peace... Or so we say."

Well... It's THOSE guys, but they look like this...

"Our leader tries to look like David Bowie from Labyrinth gone emo and throws acts a bit like an evil Captain Jack Sparrow..." 

You'd also think Godzilla and the monsters are in the movie a LOT with how many monsters they threw in, right? ... Also wrong! Matter of fact, the monsters are only in a quarter to a third of the movie. I admit, seeing all the monsters was cool as they included pretty much all the classics including Gigan, Mothra, Ghidorah, Anguirus, Rodan, even the ones you hardly EVER saw like Manda (a sea dragon, Hedorah (AKA the Smog Monster), King Caesar, and I shit you not, this movie had Godzilla up against the Iguana Godzilla wannabe from the Matthew Broderick movie... It does not last long against the REAL Godzilla! ... Yeah, the invading aliens really should've known better than pit those 2 together...

"Even I know I'm gonna lose this fight..." -Poser Zilla

So yeah, this movie is pretty bad, but it's an ENJOYABLE kinda bad... You know, the kind you love to laugh at. It really would seem Toho wanted to end the Godzilla series with this big bang of Star Wars lazer gunfights meets Matrix martial arts action and instead it feels like the biggest B movie of the whole Godzilla franchise. But terribly funny so I can't help but give it 2 out 5 monsters that die in mere minutes.