"They're trusting the fate of the universe in MY hands?!?!
... Bad idea."
- Commander "Mad Wolf" Shepard

Mass Effect is a boring-ass game about calculus and all sorts of mathematical crap... Psych! It is in fact a game about space exploration, interacting with a diverse number of alien species, saving the universe from imminent destruction and slavery... Wait, does any of this sound familiar?

Unlike the Star Control games from the old days, Mass Effect puts you in control of the man/woman named Shepard, Commander of the cutting edge ship, the SSV Normandy, who (after getting a facelift by you and brainwashing, er... I mean background check)  you are sent to Eden Prime to be evaluated to become the first Human Spectre... But of course, some nasty muckity muck douchebag alien named Saren shows up in a massive squid shaped ship, kills the guy sent to evaluate you, kills most of the Human soldiers, and gets away... Well that figures.

"So what you're saying, Commander, is Saren, our favorite Spectre, is responsible for attacking a remote colony, slaughtering the soldiers of your people, and has a ship that'd give Darth Vader goosebumps? Let's just say you're incompetent and not blame the one truly responsible."  - Council Members

So now you're sent to rally some pretty cool alien allies (My favorite is Wrex, a sort of space fish toad Viking) to gather evidence to prove Saren's really a douchebag. Afterwards, you become the first Human Spectre and are sent to hunt him down and waste him.

"Some more action! It's about freakin' time!!!"
- Commander Shepard

The game is a RPG but it's a pretty action packed one. There is a lot of repetition, guns and armors that look the same just with different colors/skins, too many missions where you scour planets in the same tank like vehicle (The Mako), multiple enemy fortresses in side missions use the same layouts, an Alliance admiral (Played by Lance Henriksen, AKA the guy who played Bishop in the Alien movies) often calls you when you enter a solar system about to take care of something and asks you go somewhere else and do something different instead, everything has to be leveled up for you to play worth a damn (Seriously, your rank is Commander, you'd imagine the character would at least have some combat training/experience already).

"Ugh, next the Council will send Jedis after me that don't even know what the Force is... Or maybe even a RoboCop so inept he shoots himself in the face."
- Saren

I won't get into Saren's plan or what's so special about Sovereign, his ship, just in case you want to play the game. I will add that this game actually is pretty good despite the annoying repetitions. The storyline is pretty epic, characters are pretty interesting, and any game with character creation in which you can make him/her good, evil, or somewhere in between is always awesome when it comes to replay value. There are alternate ways to end some missions, and overall the game and it's cutscenes give a certain cinematic style which more than makes up for it's petty annoyances.

Mass Effect gets 4 out of 5 re-spray painted body armors.