"I'm back, baby!" - Duke Nukem

Oh, God... What've we done to deserve this?

Okay... Let's get this started. The game begins with Duke Nukem sending himself a video communication from the past to present time explaining aliens are screwing with history and trying to wipe humanity from existance... Wait... Actually that doesn't sound as terrible as DN3D's or DNF's story.

"Yeah, but this time my game wasn't developed by those geniuses at 3d Realms." - Duke Nukem

Valid point, Duke. Matter of fact this Duke Nukem game isn't even a First Person Shooter, it's a Third Person Shooter with a chase-cam similar to Tomb Raider or Syphon Filter. The action of the game is okay, not nearly as intense as Doom or Heretic but whatcha gonna do? As for controls, the Nintendo 64 as much as I loved the system, I'm sorry but it's like the control pad was designed by freakin' aliens... Maybe the same aliens who have it outfor Duke, who knows? But the control scheme is pretty crap and to fix this, you need to go into the options menu and pick a scheme that suits your wants. Anycrap, on with the review!

"Hey, Mad Wolf, look... Babes! And this time, I DO rescue them!" - Duke Nukem

Great, another sign that 3d Realms were idiots that didn't understand proper hero-damsel in distress etiquette. Yes readers, it's true: Duke actually does save girls this time and isn't a total douche watching them all tied up in green goo/tentacles/mucus/I'm not really sure what that crap is. Point is, he plays the hero and actually sets the babes free this time.

Finishing up, the level design is good, the different time eras are fun to see and travel through. Gameplay is entertaining but can feel a little slow if you're used to fast paced action like Mass Effect or Syphon Filter. But you know what? This game actually is pretty good, especially for a Duke Nukem game. But it's for Nintendo 64 and you know N64 had some cool shit.

"Hey Wolf, you do know they made a Duke Nukem 3D port for N64 that also has rescuable babes, right?"
- Duke Nukem

Yeaaahhh, but they took out some of the fun stuff like the strippers and gave the babes a little more clothing. Different guns were cool though... Anyways, that's another game completely. I give Duke Nukem: Zero Hour 4 out of 5 rescued babes.

"Cowa-f***ing-bunga..." - Duke Nukem