Seeing Watchmen wasn’t what I expected. Most of the “superheroes” are people dressed in costumes that know martial arts and are scarred by personal problems which they are not afraid to share. The exception being this blue guy named Dr. Manhattan which despite his genius and his God-like abilities, he fails to understand the mind of humans or listen to his girlfriend whom he lives with in some secluded military facility. He used to be human so yeah... Pretty lame, dude.

"I'm naked, emo, and sad. Feel pity for me..."
- Dr. Manhattan

The one character I actually love is this guy, Rorschach, who basically strikes me as a more psychotic version of Batman that narrates like an old film noir mystery detective. The movie begins with him looking into the murder of another one of the Watchmen people, which is this douchebag named The Comedian who frankly, I didn’t find the least bit funny. I mean, it’s like The Comedian took joke lessons from Heath Ledger’s Joker character, which already was only a little bit funny, and The Comedian still sucked at being a little comical, he’s just an asshole! Anyways, as much as I like this Rorschach character, not much is provided to his story short of his mother (A prostitute from the way the movie made it look) treated him like crap, then bullies treated him like crap to the point he gets all savage and starts beating them up and breaking fingers, and finally after encountering a criminal in Russia which really disgusted him Rorschach had simply finally snapped and became more violent and unforgiving. Throughout the movie people explain he is a wanted man and deemed crazy, but there is no mention why his mask has ink flowing on it and doesn’t dry... Which is weird but a pretty cool effect.

I'm the only bit of awesomeness this city's gonna get... And they throw me in prison!" - Rorschach

It takes about an hour and a half before Night Owl and Silk Spectre dawn on their costumes and go out to kick ass... Only to get undressed shortly afterwards and have sex in this giant flying machine hovering above the city. I admit, this scene is hot but feel is utterly pointless and ridiculous (And no, I will NOT show a picture on this website so HA!). Moving on, I have nothing but negative feelings on the scenes in slow motion with old rock playing, it’s like the director was thinking “See? This is an old setting as old music is being played. This is a depressing scene as sad music is being played.” Yeah, I got it’s old when the characters are in the Vietnam War, I get it’s depressing when people are attending a funeral in the rain which is WAY overly done in movies. Here’s a thought, you’re making a movie for mature audiences, so you don’t have to barrage the viewers with overkill scenes of atmosphere and mood as though you’re showing something to a 5 year old. Even the fight scenes, got some good choreography but damn it, there’s no way some average Joe is punching through all those walls and shit without breaking his hands.

I think this movie, despite the poorly told back story, annoying slow motion scenes, overused music scenes to set atmosphere, did have some funny scenes, good special effects, and a few awesome fight scenes... But that doesn't save it. I rate Watchmen 2 out of 5, which is twice what I’d give for that movie, 300.