Definitely NOT what I was expecting...

This is seriously the WEIRDEST viking movie I ever seen. The majority of it is suspenseful with very ambient music and not a whole lot of action. There are various scenes that suggest this is mostly an art film, maybe even psychological, but these aren't what I look for in a viking film.

The movie stars Mads Mikkelsen, he's the dude that plays Le Chiffre in Casino Royale (2006) and Draco in Clash Of The Titans (2010). Mikkelsen plays the role of the Norse warrior, One-Eye, a mute slave forced to fight in a muddy pit and brutally kills his opponents no matter the odds. One-Eye, sick of being a slave escapes his chains and kills his master by slitting open his stomach and dumping the guy's insides onto the grassy floor... Grotesque, but if I was a slave I'd probably look at the douche who feels he can "own" a human being, and want to put his ass through Hell as well. The only person One-Eye refused to kill was a young boy who fed the warrior day after day. Once again, this is understandable.

"Day after day, people wanna start fights with me. Not once do they realize that I don't look like the kinda guy to piss off... Morons."
- One-Eye

One-Eye and the kid run into a group of crusaders who wanna go to Jerusalem to fight for the Holy land. Being nomads with nowhere else to go, and nothing better to do, On-Eye and the boy decide to come along... This is where the movie gets weird... Aboard a small boat, the men find themselves in a dense fog that lasts for days, maybe even weeks... They don't actually say, matter a fact there really isn't a whole lot of dialogue in this movie which is an hour and a half. There is no wind to guide the boat, and before long the crusaders start to think One-Eye is actually from Hell. Naturally, people challenge One-Eye on the boat and get themselves killed. I think the moral here is don't screw with Norsemen, but that's a guess I just pulled from my butt.

"We're crusaders. We're used to long voyages but even WE are bored off our asses!"
- Crusader commander

After about 20-30 minutes of being lost at sea, they all find themselves in a mysterious land that is riddled the occasional corpse here and there, a simple cross crafted from small sticks protruding from the ground, and an unbloodied sword. Before long, people start to go crazy, one crusader gets hit with a stone arrow and winds up getting killed by another crusader that drowns him in a puddle of mud, and of course, the few survivors left from that crazy fog blame One-Eye again and try to attack him... Naturally, One-Eye kills his attackers with ease. The crusader leader rants about building a New Jerusalem in this mysterious land, before getting shot by a barrage of arrows and dying. One-Eye, the only real character that's kickass in this movie decides "This sucks" and wanders to try and take the kid home... But it's not long before he's surrounded by primitive warriors armed with simple cudgels. So what does Mr. Awesome do? Get this, he drops his axe and lets the warriors beat him to death. The child is sparred by the warriors and the movie's credits start to roll...

... Watching this felt really not entertaining. I really was hoping for some explanation for the fog like maybe they all journeyed to Niflheim or something, and the ending felt very anti-climatic. I'm gonna give this film 1 out of 5 bored Viking warriors but you know what? To each his own. I know there's people out there that dig artistic/psychological films... But these people aren't me.